I considered posting this in the check-in thread, but...

I got home from my psychiatrist appointment feeling anxious and frustrated. I adore him, and know he means well, but occasionally he says things that make my life seem more complicated, or burst my bubble. He's also known to be a wet blanket, sometimes.

Some here may recall my mentioning that my husband wants to retire in Europe. This idea has been discussed for a few years now. The first time I mentioned it to my psychiatrist (years back), his reaction was a firm and loud "DON'T DO IT!" He also gave a couple reasons, but then dropped the subject. The next time I saw my, then, therapist, I asked her if she thought it was appropriate for pdoc to even say such a thing. She didn't see any problems with it, but acknowledged that such a move could be destabilizing. I then dropped the subject.

I am okay with his opinion mentioned lightly...or a simple, "Really? That sounds interesting...I visited 'X' once and I'm very fond of that region."

Why the intense reaction, though? Unnecessary, it seems.

The idea of moving to Europe has not disappeared. I did eventually veto hubby's interest in Portugal. [No offense to Portugal. It's complex.] Instead, we compromised by agreeing to France. Hubby and I have had many discussions, and it has looked like a reasonable option. Hubby did some research.

Wonderful! My son attended university and worked in Paris; he absolutely loves France and visits whenever he can. I've visited only Paris, but had a wonderful time there (and I don't do "fancy stuff"...I stayed in hostels).

In the recent year, I have discussed with my psychiatrist, past and future French studies. His comments were few. We also discussed healthcare in France. He had mostly negative things to say. I brushed them off.

I can say that from my direct experience, the healthcare in France is excellent.

Today I emphasized the seriousness of the potential move. My psychiatrist then presented a long argument against the idea. Both of us are married to Europeans, and his arguments included the claim of firsthand feedback from "close friends" who lived in the exact French region of interest. He also said that he personally spoke with a French psychiatrist, at length, and found that doctor's qualifications to be comparatively inferior to many American psychiatrists'. [Pdoc is a bit of a snob and likely generalizing, unfairly.] Then, out of the blue, he started recommending that I rather consider a country like Ireland, or better yet, one of the Scandinavian countries.

Ireland is delightful and surprisingly diverse. I haven't been to the Scandinavian countries myself, but have heard only positives. But....every country has it's (to use a medication metaphor) benefits and side effects.

But your husband is European? Seems he'd know more about Europe than the pdoc knows.

OK, now. Basically, my psychiatrist did the same thing today that he did a few years back. I feel like pulling my hair out.

In contrast to my psychiatrist (of over 12 years), my current and past therapists never really expressed such outspoken opinions about the European move idea. Even if they did, their feedback would never have been as powerful in my ears as my psychiatrist's.

I'm scared to death of such a move, but know we can't stay where we are for much longer. I feel like I'm being pulled one way by hubby and another by my psychiatrist. They are the most influential people in my life, and set in their ways. My husband sees destination France through rose-colored glasses. My psychiatrist the polar opposite. I can only hope that something really major happens that removes the necessity of such a relocation. I feel my husband and I are vulnerable.

Perhaps this is just a venting. Any thoughts on any of this are welcome. Keep in mind that moving elsewhere in the US may not be a reasonable option for us. It's likely stay where we are or go across the ocean. It's a complex situation. Pdoc even mentioned my husband's country of Czech Republic. Ummmm, there is a reason that hasn't been on the table, Pdoc!

I told my husband yesterday that I would live with him in the woods in a tent. I can fish, hunt squirrels, and pick berries and nuts.