Ah, you sound like a wonderful partner.

Not caring that we're hurting ourselves is right at the centre of ED's, as you're probably aware.

That's why inner child therapy worked for me. In my experience, there's often a hurt and frightened child who's disgusted by the adults around them (and thus scared to grow up). This therapy is surprisingly simple. You are asked to picture, with increasing detail, your younger self, at the age you were most desperately hurt and unheard.

Next, the therapist asks you to picture that child you've visualised standing next to you.

It's weird and a bit embarrassing at first, but after a few sessions, I found that the child (in my case, I was about six when I started being hurt) had so much to say.

The magic came when I was walking home from the session and found I was picturing my six year old self walking beside me.

Wow. I was overwhelmed with pity for her. She was so little and nice!

So, for the first time I really felt how disgusting it was to hurt a child that age. I'd start looking at them in the street and observe, tearfully, how careful their carers and everyone else are with children.

The final stage was that I felt protective of her...

So, for the first time I was defending and nourishing my inner child rather than trying to starve it to death as a way of trying to stop the pain.