That's exactly it. I used to be a hot mess and quite a menace to my family in my late childhood/early teenage years. I was manipulative and cruel and I railroaded my family constantly. My perspective was completely self centered with my family. I changed a lot over the years. Self awareness comes in flashes. Sometimes we miss the mirror until a loved one holds it up for us to truly see ourselves as we are.

There are lessons in all of this for you too. You're growing in your ability to stand up and say no to behaviors that are harmful. You have the potential to show on the outside how you've been feeling on the inside all this time. That can be hard to do, but it feels great to get it out in the open. I know this is a sad situation, but I'm optimistic for you guys.