I suppose a mental health disorder can affect attractions, to some degree, but there is always some personality that plays a part, too. I'm not implying that anyone's personality is bad or good, or otherwise here. It's just that we are not carbon copies because we all have bipolar disorder. I also believe that even if a person has attracted a similar type of partner, again and again, that that can be changed. There have already been some excellent suggestions here for how to attempt such a change. You may also want to discuss this issue with a therapist, if you have one.

I have bipolar disorder, and have attracted men with a wide-variety of personality traits. Certainly my bipolar disorder has played a part in their reactions to past behavior, good and bad. Though I dated many men before getting married, I only had one serious relationship before my husband. I lived with my first love for over two years. He was the one that dumped me, in the end, likely because of my bipolar disorder. He doesn't have a mental illness, that I'm aware of, but he did have an inflated regard for himself. He never made me feel less than him, because I've always had a healthy self-esteem, but I do now prefer people with more humility.

I've been with my husband for over 23 years now. He has a history of major depression. [He's definitely never been manic.] He has a healthy (not inflated) self-esteem and treats me like an equal. Both understanding depression allows us to commiserate with each other. As for his reactions to my manic symptoms, he's a rather "imperturbable" type. That's a good match for me and yet despite my being a challenge sometimes, I am also a forgiving type that acknowledges and apologizes when I do wrong. He is, too. That levels out the difficulties. We both enjoy each other's humors and have many similar interests. That's good, too. We're both far from perfect, and are OK with that. If a man had excessively high standards for how I should act, that would be the relationship's end, for me. If a man didn't like me, then I'd hope he'd end the relationship. I'm glad I never married my first love. My husband's happy he split with his first wife.