I am not surprised that individuals you talk about can tend to be individuals who actually have very demanding careers. It reminds me of how most people think an alcoholic is a bumb that never did anything or is not educated and is just a loser. Actually, some very intelligent and highly educated and even successful people develop problems with alcohol. This tends to be due to a desire to get a break from all the stress that comes with some of these demanding careers these individuals have. Ernest Hemingway was an extremely intelligent man, and gifted writer, but he had times where he needed some way of getting a break from having to do all the intellectualizing.

Yes, you are correct in how many individuals tend to think a Domme or sadist is what they see in Fifty Shades of Gray. Unfortunately, there is so much sex in that movie one can fail to recognize other important aspects of the psychological dynamics that are also a part of the story. It really isn't about the sex at all, instead it's how this intelligent successful man had no control over what happened to his mother and to himself after his mother died.

Human beings have a hard time when it comes to "control" and sense of personal power and the responsibilities that come with the intelligence and power they have or attain.

When you posted how dishearted you feel now, guess I just have to give up then and bear with the criticisms and control my husband needs to have. Yes, I believe you in that he provides for you, yet there has been something missing for you. It goes all the way back for you too. You know what werewoman? I know how that feels. What you are talking about is actually a kind of therapy. Perhaps it's about helping someone have a chance to let go and give up all this control and responsibility they have that can actually be a burden.

Often that is what someone wants when they go and see a therapist. Often a person doesn't know what to do with the burdens they struggle with. Even therapists can get overburdened and reach out for help too. What many don't even realize is therapists can break down too. After they tend to be expected to have all the answers and they don't have all the answers. Truth is they are practicing and learning too. There is really no point where a person knows all. Truth is we actually learn and grow our entire lives.

Spoiler alert, YES!, there are actually CRAPPY therapists out there too. It's just horrible to sit across from a crappy therapist when you really desperately NEED a therapist to help you too.

I can see how "some" people can benefit from seeing the kind of person you describe wanting to be. Yes, some people really need some kind of release from all the control they are expected to have, the responsibility can become daunting for certain individuals.

I had a heart surgeon bring his three year old daughter to my farm one day. He was trying to spend some quality time with her. However, as I talked to him and learned he was a heart surgeon, it turned out HE had come very deep challenges HE needed someone to talk about with. Now here is a man who holds people very lives in his hands, the responsibility he has is tremendous. Yet, he was struggling and his main struggle was that his mother had breast cancer and she decided to try and fight it and undergo treatment. Unfortunately, he watched his mother's suffering only get prolonged and she died. What he saw made him really question if it was such a good thing to treat people if all it does is prolong suffering like what he witnessed his mother go through. It was clear he was deeply troubled and even feeling some guilt too.

He needed a presence that could take that over. And that's what I helped do for him. I explained to him that he needed to accept that his mother wanted and deserved a chance and that even though the treatment she underwent prolonged her suffering, truth is, SOME women end up going into remission and end up living for many years after undergoing this treatment. His mother deserved to right to at least TRY, even though the outcome for her resulted in more suffering. And then I told him, some people survive and some just don't and it's very hard when some don't especially it's someone we love do dearly. He needed to hear that, to finally give up his need for control and feeling responsible and being full of doubt. He also needed to let that deep challenge out which was not something he seemed to be able to do with his family or even collegues. He may have known that on some level intellectually, but he needed to find his way through it emotionally.

So, you are right in that even those who have high positions and careers, they need to have a way to release and give up control too. Personally, I don't have a corset or a whip and I am not a Domme like what you desribe. However, I can understand how "some" may benefit from that kind of therapy. Personally, I am not looking to control others, I prefer to simply help them find their way to heal and gain control of themselves more.

What I did in my life was important to me, there were things I valued a lot and unfortunately, I experienced too many individuals who considered what I valued was not important because it was not important to them. It has caused me great suffering and as a result I suffer from ptsd that is constantly being triggered to the point where I continue to re-experience a lot of suffering. Unfortunately, it's hard to find others that can see YOU instead of needing to say "what you feel isn't important".

I am pretty sure you know what I mean by that (((werewoman))), as do others in their own personal ways as well.