It's a confirmed diagnosis or bipolar 2 and she's been in therapy/ on meds for years. She takes the same meds she always has and mostly prefers to not change anything. She hasn't really gotten any better in the 13 years since she has been diagnosed. She holds down a job, most of the time and pays for her own bills, she goes to a therapist she loves and a psychiatrist she hates. She doesn't try to abuse me, it's just that she relies on me for everything, cooking, cleaning, working 45 hours a week, all emotional support unless she talks to her therapist. I'm depressed myself and have anxiety and I can't get in a better place because I am always taking care of her. Today I talked to my therapist about this for the first time and she said I needed to leave and live my life (I didn't go to college or do anything I wanted to do in life because I stayed to take care of her). It's something that I think I am going to have to do but also something that terrifies me, I don't like change but I can't keep giving up everything for her.

I just wondered if being bipolar was the full reason she needs so much support. I am terrified of leaving because I tend to feel like it will mean her death, but she isn't happy when I stay either and she isn't getting better and hasn't for 13 years now and I just continue to fall further and further down the depression and anxiety hole. My counselor pointed out today that the only thing I talk about in my sessions in my mother.