hi. i understand where you are coming completely as far as your mom often complaining about all the negative things in her life, instead of focusing on the positive. which, i am sure, are many. (raising you to be the person you are, is one that comes to mind).

my advise would be, if you could, gently interrupt her woe is me stories by bringing to mind all the good that she has accomplished in her lifetime. let her know that what she is projecting is exactly what she is receiving: being the odd one out, not finding the right man, never being married, etc. who wants to be with a debbie downer? who wants to be around someone who is always negative and obviously not enjoying life?

gently explain to her that her negativity is affecting you in a bad way, and that you feel less communication with her is crucial to your happiness at this time.

suggest she read the book "the secret". it will help her to understand that her life is exactly where she put it. that she has no one to blame for her misery other than herself., and if she WANTS to be happier, she must BE happy.

sometimes we have to be selfish in order to obtain a peace of mind. taking temporary breaks or separations from loved ones is sometimes necessary to reach a calm inside us that we need to live the life we deserve. and there is nothing at all wrong with taking this step.