Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
My sister and mother have similar to this dynamic like you describe. My sister wasn’t making choices my mother thought were good, and she’s always let her know it. My mother makes no apologies and feels no guilt about this at all, though, unlike you. With them, it wasn’t a dynamic about financial support. It was about mom’s love and approval.
I don’t see anything wrong with you holding money for her until she made good decisions to use it; depending on the circumstances, I suppose. Do you think you were being overly critical?
|
I do think in my mind I was overly critical. I never, ever said a word though. I’ve never criticized or given her advice. I don’t state opinions, I don’t argue. My counselor thinks that my feelings showed through even though I never said them.
He also said that just because she has angry feelings about me not doing what she wanted or helping like she wanted doesn’t mean I have to guilt myself. That was an empowering thing for me to hear. He said her feelings about something don’t mean I have to feel the same way.