I guess I can say that I am physically attracted to her but only with her face.. I don't find myself ever staring at any other body part of hers. I also can't imagine ever doing anything sexual or inappropriate with her, even if I had the chance to. I think I tried imagining once 'cause I was so confused but even just the thought of it feels icky to me (and I feel bad saying that lol). When I've really liked guys in the past, my thoughts can definitely get there and I can get turned on by certain things they've done. I've never been turned on from anything she's done, so I can at least tell that difference from other experiences.

Also from what I understood from classes in Psychology and testimonies of other people, I learned that you can have a physical, mental, and emotional attraction to someone but if you're not sexually attracted to them, then that doesn't really affect your sexuality.

I often find myself looking at her pictures and accidentally blurting out loud "She's SO f-ing pretty.. Like how can anyone be this pretty?? It's not fair" lol. So maybe it's more of a jealousy thing?

I think I'm mostly confused as to why I get this giddy when she smiles. Experiencing that at nearly 30 yrs old just feels so wrong to me and I feel insecure about it lol