Thanks @Omers and @zoiecat.

My T often uses words that are beyond my vocabulary and I have to go and Google after session so I get the impression she has some kind of academic background. This makes me worry even more about her judging my writing so it is reassuring to hear that your T never judges your writing, zoiecat, despite his English major.

Despite my worrying about T judging my writing, it is actually more important to me to get across what I want to say with accuracy and authenticity, so I prefer to write as I would speak, even though this may mean there are grammatical errors. I struggle to write about my thoughts, feelings and experiences in a way that feels genuine and not scripted. Talking is a much easier way for me to do this but I often can't express what I want to in words when I'm put on the spot in session. I'm also constantly aware of the 50 minutes ticking by on the clock, which puts on added pressure to make good use of the time and not dither around trying to find the words.

I sometimes find myself disconnecting emotionally in session under the pressure of the time restraint of therapy or because of a difficult question t has put to me. It happened last session and I tried to explain to t what was happening but she just didn't get it. :-(