Quote:
Originally Posted by Embarrassing
YES my BF does get to have privacy. And yes him having orgasms is important to me and trust me he has them, often. . I found these things by going on his phone with permission to do things and the phone opening to pictures of naked woman and/or an account I had known nothing about. I am not as upset that he just watches porn I am mainly upset because I have tried to talk about this with him and he lied saying he didn't need to watch/ would quit (like it was no big deal ). I don't freak out or over react my feeling just get hurt because we have lived together for over 3 1/2 of the 4 years we have been together and we don't lie or keep secrets from each other.. like ever. Other than this porn stuff he seems to be really honest and loyal to me. We get along great and do almost everything together. I guess my fear was that if he is looking at porn and insisting it be his little secret rather than something we could have a brief discussion about then maybe there is more things he is keeping from me or this could develop into a bigger problem in the future. Every time I bring up the topic of porn at all he changes the subject or completely shuts down. Neither of us are mean about it at all but he just completely refuses to discuss it. How do I start a conversation about this without making him uncomfortable ? We have always been very good about coming to a compromise on every obstacle we have faced in our relationship but maybe unaluna is right and he shouldn't have to give up his porn stuff .. BUT I don't think its okay at all that he lied to me about it. I absolutely hate lying and he's definitely aware of that
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Embarrassing, you initially stated that his habit of looking at naked women and porn makes you uncomfortable and insecure. Now you’re saying it doesn’t?
If it truly does make you uncomfortable, honor your true feelings. Don’t cower away from how you truly feel just because a member here wants you to think it’s his right to privacy. You have rights too in this relationship. A relationship involves compromises and sometimes sacrifices.
This is clearly a habit of his that he won’t stop doing. Are you prepared to fully accept that? Or will you continue to feel uncomfortable and insecure while he secretly looks at porn and images of naked women?
Stay true to your own feelings on this and don’t let members here sway you on how you really feel. You were willing or threatening to leave him if he didn’t stop. It was important enough to you that you threatened to leave. Again, honor your true feelings.
Your own words:
"I feel so insecure and betrayed and cheated on."
Honor those feelings. They are real and they are valid.
And yes the lying is a big red flag. Pay attention.
And this is what Premium Snapchat is:
"Premium Snapchat is when a person sets up a premium Snapchat account, which is a term commonly used to mean they share content of an adult sexual nature in return for cash."
He may even be selling his own pictures on there, for all you know. What do you really know of what he is doing? Do you know if he participates in live Web cam chatting with women on porn sites, for example?
If he won’t even talk about it, that’s not a healthy relationship dynamic. He’s probably hiding more from you than you know about.