My Support Forums - View Single Post - Is using porn in a committed relationship a form of cheating

TishaBuv · Feb 02, 2020 at 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Here's what Dr. Phil says about porn in a committed relationship:

"It is not OK behavior. It is a perverse and ridiculous intrusion into your relationship. It is an insult, it is disloyal and it is cheating.
Consider how it makes your partner feel. If it makes your partner feel ugly, hurt, deceived, lied to or inadequate, then it needs to stop. If it is eroding your relationship, it's gone too far.

Pornography isn't real, it's a fantasy. It's makeup, beauty lenses, hair extensions, camera angles, lighting and silicone! It's also somebody's daughter who has taken a really, really wrong turn. She's demeaning herself, debasing herself, humiliating herself and she's being exploited by people who are funded by you. It is a sick, demented, twisted world. It's not healthy, it's not natural and it's not normal.

Viewing internet pornography or engaging in cybersex is a short step to taking cheating to the next level.

You need to tell your partner that viewing pornography is absolutely, unequivocally unacceptable in your relationship. Draw a line: Your partner needs to choose between the pornography or the relationship."

Is Porn Cheating?

While you have every right to your feelings about it and what you need from your relationship, not everyone feels the same way. This Dr. Phil article is bullying and invalidating to other people’s feelings. If ‘the norm’ is what most people are doing, then using porn to some, small degree most likely is ‘normal’ in American society, at least.

I’m with you in not wanting my partner to have an addiction and put me at risk. I’m a little lax regarding things done rarely and in moderation. Plus, I have plenty of fantasies that I enjoy. My husband is fine with that and probably does the same. I don’t mind about what is in our minds. Neither is cheating physically.

I’m completely supportive of you feeling how you feel though. There is no right answer.