:It's an interesting thought, Have Hope, that women (as in reality it seems to be) should not feel bad about asking their partner to abstain. It hadn't really occurred to me, to be honest, but I can now almost hear an audible sigh of relief from womankind.

My anti-depressant has pretty much shrivelled my urges but I've always had a high sex drive and certainly used porn. (there's plenty of women-friendly erotica out there). I still do, occasionally. The Fifty Shades phenomenon proved, I think, that women can be as dirty-minded as men.

I've not minded partners doing the same.

So, as you say, it's just down to a couple each time working out what's OK.