I am exhausted. I was up very late last night worrying. I even took klonopin and while it calmed my heart rate, it didn’t help me sleep. I was worrying about my debt, how I could make money, etc. it was terrible. I think I finally fell asleep around 2am. At least I got to sleep in today.

My kitty is home from the hospital. He’s still straining to urinate but he’s alert. I hope it’ll go away. I don’t want to have to put him down.

I see my pdoc on Tuesday. I’m not going to tell her I already stopped the haldol; rather I’m going to “ask” her if I can try stopping it because of the jaw twitches. I have not had any twitches since I stopped the haldol. And I have not any psychotic symptoms, which makes sense because I only get psychotic in mood episodes and I haven’t had an episode since September.

Secretly, I am considering weaning off of depakote as well to see if I can manage on lamictal alone. I primarily suffer from depression, and I don’t really do anything dangerous when hypomania except maybe shop a bit more. Which I won’t do, considering how little I make. The depakote didn’t do much to prevent the hypomania episode I had two years ago, either. So I want to see if I can manage on just one med. I know I can’t manage on no meds. I’ve tried that many times and it has been disastrous. But maybe, just maybe, I can do with one. Don’t call me stupid, please.