I met a guy at the coffee shop a couple months back. Older than my dad. (I'm 36.) He says he is an addictive personality so he doesn't do drugs. When I get manic (bipolar), I throw caution to the wind. He and I have been having coffee together every morning before work, except the last two weeks. He'd take me to his landlord jobs, out to eat, to the casino.... Went to his place last night and ended up getting vicodin and marijuana. Never smoked anything in my life! Well the vidocin took away my back ache (sprained it) but nothing more. The smoking did zip. But I still have this horrible guilty feeling. This guy wants to be "more than friends" it seems, so I eventually left after watching tv and today I just deleted his phone #. I had two dreams during two naps today - I remember waking up between upset: In each, my boyfriend had broken up with me and I couldn't get ahold of him at all anymore. I got a new perspective on my relationshop with my BF of 2 1/2 years. I dunno what got into me except the bipolar need to self-injur. Could've gotten myself into a lot more trouble!