i'll try to be as brief as possible. my son, 30, has been dating a girl, 34, for over 10 years now. they have a soon to be 2 daughter, my granddaughter ❤️. she also has a 14 year old daughter from a previous relationship. their relationship has been volatile from the start.

"jane" is a chronic liar, had been arrested for possession/distribution of pills (and is now a convicted felon), in and out of jail for a year and 1/2 for failing drug tests or not showing up for her court dates, also has been arrested numerous other times on a variety of charges throughout their relationship, the most recent a few days ago for fighting outside the bar she works.

i thought she would've changed after the baby was born, but if anything, she's worse. she will disappear for hours (on one occasion days, after an argument with my son) on end, or, if she's working 'til closing at the bar (she tends bar), sometimes doesn't come home until the following morning barely in enough time for him to go to work.

the latest incident was last night. she called and asked me to watch my granddaughter so she could fill in last minute at the bar. i agreed. when my son came to pick my granddaughter up a couple hours (he was at work) he asked where "jane" was, i told him working, he said she wasn't. he drove past the bar and her car wasn't there. he tried calling, texting her with no answer. me too. i offered to watch my granddaughter in the morning if jane didn't show up in time for him to go to work.

well, she must've came home eventually because he never called me and he hasn't responded to my text asking.

she also picks arguments giving her an out to leave. i think she's cheating, amongst other things because the signs all point to it. there is so much more to this saga, but i won't get into it now.

bottom line: i am a wreck over all of this. my new year was starting off pretty good but now i'm a basket case. i'm worried about my son. i'm worried about my granddaughter. they both deserve so much more. i know this person is not going to change and she will continue to bring stress into my son's life as long as she's around. and she's not the type to go quietly even if he were to draw up the strength to end it with her. thanks for reading. if anyone has had or is a part of a situation similar to this, i would love to hear from you.