I feel this way as well. I didn't find out about my BPD until I was 18 (which is usually the age at which people with BPD are diagnosed). I didn't really begin to recognize the symptoms of my BPD that went along with my low self-esteem when it came to guys. I thought I wasn't pretty or thin enough, so I wound up accepting dates from guys who I didn't find attractive because that was the easiest thing for me to do. It was so cruel of me to do this, now that I think about this. But if I want to wind up anywhere with a guy that is attractive, I feel like I have to compromise and have sex with them first thing because that's the only way that I think they'll want to hang out, when in reality, it just winds up messing everything up.

I am working on pursuing a new relationship with someone I find attractive and am holding strong to my boundaries. He has asked me to come over to his house several times and I have told him that us doing that will only lead to sex. He didn't disagree and so far has respected my boundaries. I'm surprised he hasn't stopped talking to me, but he must have been honest when he told me that he was looking for something serious.