Though we don't talk as much because we are trying to cope with our own stuff and I am trying to move on from Psych Central (for me, I believe all the darkness I felt was to teach me some important lessons including restoring my faith). I do pray for you and your family sometimes. The universe must be trying to show you something. I pray that you don't have to keep going through so much pain. That you will release or reconcile the things that are bothering you. Have faith and hang on. Most of my pain has ended or is much less intense for me. You will get there somehow because you have been trying so hard for so long. H is waiting for me to walk with him but I will say a little prayer for you as I walk. Hugs.