With my wife for over 15 years now.

I've chased her and pursued her for that whole time. I've always been extremely attracted to her and still am.

She's always held back, and held me off from intimacy. In the past year we've been through a LOT of highs and lows, and I'm still there, chasing her, trying to date her, sticking with her, and trying to equally share the burden of home and children... Honestly, more than equally due to health issues she deals with.

Three weeks ago I spill all my anxieties to her. That I pursue her so much because I have always felt insecure, like she was out of my league since the beginning.

She tells me the same. Tells me it got way worse after kids, after illness, and after job loss.

I tell her I really want her to feel secure, that she deserves to have that, and to never feel vulnerable if she asks for non-sexual close time together, because I want to be there.

Holy moley.... She's been a very eager girl the last few weeks. Eager for intimacy any time her health allows and the kids are occupied.

Got 10 minutes? Let's go. NOW! Lock the door.

I have no physical issues, but this change in roles is catching me off guard. I've never been on the receiving end before. I'm actually scared on a regular basis that I won't be able to perform now... And lack of confidence is the surest way to not perform. The day I can't, I know it will really hurt her. She's making herself newly vulnerable. I want this to work for both of us. She's a really good woman, and I'm really attracted to her. I want this to work.

Any help with framing my thinking and getting my head right on this one would be appreciated.

RDM