So I had a hell of a day, but managed to get everything done. Couldn't get back to sleep this morning after posting here and was being plagued by intrusive and obsessive thoughts. Then it hit me that my friend had last posted that they were done with life. Like explicit plans. And so I started to panic. I had already posted on their blog, but I decided to email them too. Waiting started driving me crazy. So I basically vented my fears and helplessness to everyone and anyone (except decided to give PC a break on this one). Folks gave me suggestions of what I could do and meanwhile, I finally got in like a 2hour nap (honestly, I don't remember exactly when I slept because I thought it was after 1p but I woke up and went back to sleep. Would I have done all that in only two hours? Not typical.) Anyway, so when I woke up and read the advice, i felt better...but I still didn't stop there. I tried contacting anyone I knew who knew my friend. Some can get a hold of the friend better than I, but it's all just a waiting game at this point. It's really sad to think about losing this friend. They were my very first online friend so we've known each other for like 5 years now. For me that's a long time.

Anyway, feeling better and like I said, got stuff done, ie some house cleaning and went to the pharmacy for meds and a bday card for my Dad, so now I'm just going to relax. Still sore from my workout yesterday, but debating doing some light yoga and stretching. At this point, I really don't know what's best going to help me to sleep tonight. Hopefully I can though.
Good wishes to all!