Quote:
Originally Posted by EmeraldMonster
 I am new here as of yesterday, I have been diagnosed only last year with BPD and in my mid-30's. I am not coping too well with my diagnosis and had a major 'crisis' episode at the weekend. I have only just calmed down as of an hour ago.
I find it so challenging living with BPD, although I am told it's only myself that can change my behaviour. I know I must, but I have to reset my whole brain into a better way of thinking (other than the way it's been trained by my parents - shall I say!??)
I am currently engaged in therapy, which I thought was Clinical Psychology, but no, just the 10th round of CBT!
I made it clear how I struggled over the weekend. I am to refer myself back to Psychiatry and also, see a Clinical Psychological Therapist - which is being arranged for me as we speak. I'm pretty sure I need to do some DBT as well.
I agree and empathise greatly with how simplex is feeling. I was annoyed that it took this long to get my diagnosis, however I am now having a new assessment at Psychiatry - I greatly suspect I am bi-polar too. I am not coping, I am a monster and keep practising erratic behaviour. I am very depressed at present.
I also agree with Crypts_Of_The_Mind, it is important to get a correct and accurate diagnosis - even if you have to see 3 specialists to get it!!
Thanks you guys so much. x |
First, let me say - you are NOT a monster. I know it can be easy to feel that way bc of how others react to you or some things the therapist may say to.you - but it's not true.
It is very hard to "rewire" your brain - I agree. I worked on simply changing how I spoke first
Example
Instead of saying "I always hurt people" - I would change if to "It seems like I hurt people more often than not." Or instead of saying "I will never be loved", I changed it to "I don't know if I will ever be loved."
Change "absolute" words to those which can go either way - yet still show the way you are feeling the most clear.
It takes a lot of thought and intention to do that at first - but then you get more used to.it n you find the absolute language really only gets bad when you are feeling either close to emotionally unstable or already are emotionally unstable
After that started getting easier- I started analyzing out situations and my reactions to them before I acted on things.
As an example:
Someone says "I have to go now, but we will talk tomorrow."
When tomorrow comes - the person never says anything to you - doesn't even try to contact you.
My "go to" reaction would generally be to believe I did something wrong and beat myself up over it
So - before doing so - I learned to think:
What other possibilities could there be for not talking to me?
1. The person became extremely busy and it just never crossed their mind
2. The person forgot
3. Some emergency came up and the person had to take care of that.
Then consider what other reactions you could have
1. Talk to the person n ask what happend
2. Limit communication and/or interactions with the person
3. Stop talking to the person
Finally - decide what seems to be the healthiest action to take.
Doing those things has helped me be able to cope a bit better. It's not an overnight fix though. It takes a lot of work
Everytime I went for counseling, I kept being treated with CBT and it did nothing for me - sonI literally had to find ways of helping myself. Back them I was limited as to.what therapists I could use bc of my insurance- and it just happened al the therapists my insurance allowed - were CBT.
If you are able to get a therapist that does something other than CBT it may be greatly beneficial to you.
Just dont ever give up.- n never give in to the stigmas others may try to push onto you as being "truth". ❤
Good luck! ❤❤