I have been confused by the notion of co con. There are those of us who are aware that we are a group of selves who have agreed to work together to keep us out of jail and psy hospitals. And so far so good. But we also have selves who sometimes push us back and take control and we have gaps in the day. This happened mostly when I was in my teens heavily drinking and using drugs. But there are some selves who don't feel like they are fully aware of the rest of us. That is a scary space. While we were functioning in the world we had someone who would go in between the selves and share information. So if we met someone new at work one day and weeks later that person comes up and says hi, a part would get that information from a mail sorter and give it to the self who was out at the time. He was very busy for many years. For a long time we didn't question it but once we were diagnosed and I was able to accept the dx the part who did the job took a rest. What helped me accept us was something my t said. She said that originally we were created to protect the original self. So we were all helpers. Even the scary ones or the ones who self harm. It just that as the body got older some of us still delt with stress they way that have since I was 4. That caused conflict, confusion and fear. I think co con is different for everyone. We have agreed to keep everyone safe. And we have agreed to respect each other even if we don't understand each other or get along with each other. I am in my 60's now. I will have my selves with me for ever. Some have merged but we are me