My periods stopped 3 years ago, when I was 54. I still have hot flashes and sweats. Granted, I'm not sure if it's a post-menopause thing or if the hot flashes and sweats are related to meds I'm on.
Whatever the cause, the result is hellish. I wish I had some great advice for you. There's the old "dress in layers" so when you're hot you can strip down to the cooler clothing, then when you're drenched in sweat and feeling chilled, put that extra shirt and scarf on.
I don't have dryness issues (sometimes I wish I did...it's kinda weird), but my sister really struggles with dryness. She swears by lubricant...not just for sex, but for general use.
I so understand how you feel. Why aren't women talking about menopause more? I was not prepared for it, at all. And it is a really big deal! Especially for those of us who are also on meds.
btw, I just realised you mentioned hormones. If you can take them I say go for it. I couldn't because I have a family history of breast cancer. But I sure wish I could take them. If I could I'd grab that shite so fast my arm might break!