Hello prettycoolguy: I don't know as I have much to offer you with regard to your need to thoroughly explore and experience every possibility. But I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I certainly commend you for wanting to try to understand where your desire to explore & experience everything comes from. I know in my own life I've often wished I could somehow understand where some things came from. But, over time, I've had to simply accept that I'll just never know. It all just is what it is... or was what it was as the case may be. Hopefully your quest will be more fruitful though & coming here to PC will be a step toward that goal.