Thanks everyone for sharing your point of view. I do avoid them as kucn as possible but it's complicated.

I do think I need to call them out on it. When I did in the past, they actually deny having said thing things they said and became self conscious about saying the same things in the future. The hard thing is remembering to do it in the moment.

I do think thos person has mental illness, butnthey can only see other people's behaviors and think other people are negative. I think there is a major lack of self awareness. They also twist things people say and repeat read put emails or quote people in a nasty tone of voice because they read offenses on ordinary communications. I will have to learn to confront these behaviors as soon as they happen.