Hello MountainDewed,

Thank you for sharing this and I hope you are well.

I would say that your former therapists' behavior is certainly cause for concern - in this - I wanted you to pat yourself on the back for recognizing that something wasn't quite right.

To put it bluntly, you did the right thing.


I wanted to express some insight I had in terms of the hypothetical situation in which you agreed to meet your therapist and was groomed into an abusive relationship.

Unfortunately, not everyone recognizes red flags, and even if they did become aware and had the ability to discern danger from not danger, they still might choose to ignore the red flags in favor of meeting unmet needs, and in desperation, might cling to their former therapist as a safe attachment figure the moment an offer is made. A former therapist who you have a positive rapport with is absolutely a safe attachment figure; and your therapist knows this... And considering that your former therapist knows about all of your vulnerabilities, it makes you extremely vulnerable and easy to groom you into an unethical relationship if that is what she desires. If this happens, you could get stuck in painful trauma bonding, where you remained attached and unable to leave the relationship, even if it becomes abusive... Once she abuses you, you may distance, but in response she might This will amount to immense pain and suffering when you realize the true extent of exploitation being utilized by your therapist. Only you can discern whether or not this is malicious, or a sincere attempt to support and potentially reminisce with an old therapist. As much as our guts tell us things - it is important to remember the difference between red flags, yellow flags and green flags.


Did your therapist ever cause you any concerns when you were still in treatment? If not - use that as evidence. I know that in some cases, ethics permit former therapists to interact with clients (non-sexually) after 2 years has passed after treatment ceases. I think you made the right choice: and better to be safe than sorry. The other thing that could happen, is that with the different circumstances surrounding the re-connection (if it ever happened), would the new set of boundaries be okay with you.


I think you did the right thing. I hope you can hold your positive interactions in mind when you think of you therapist in the future. Try not to let this spoil the positive impact that the two of you had on one another.


Thanks,

HD7970ghz