I went into the chat room the other day...just thinking I could chat with people...but I didn't like how I felt.

I just felt this intense fear...not at all how I feel when I'm talking one on one with someone...kinda like the other people in the room hated me, didn't want me there, wanted me gone...I know that's probably not what they were thinking but I was just so terrified....it was like they were here in the room with me....more than one person in the same room as me? Not good for my nerves!

I'm sure you're wondering how I go out in public??? I only go out in public once a week and I have to be with a family member or close friend at all times...or I basically freak out. I don't go down any aisles if other people are in those aisles in the store...I don't like to go...don't like being trapped.

Sometimes I can be ok...if I'm constantly doing something, having my attention distracted...I'm ok. But don't let me be alone and don't let me have time to think. Just get in there and get out as quickly as possible.

Needless to say, I didn't stay in the chat room for long. I don't remember who was in there...just 2 other people....felt like I was an intruder and I wasn't welcome. I had to leave...I didn't even say goodbye because I was panicking a bit.

How am I gonna cope with being in public if I can't even cope with being in a freakin chat room?