Hey @
LilyMop I was wondering about something similar last week and have this theory that in reality, misery does not care for company. Depressed people know they can be a downer and feel guilty about it. They feel like a helpless loser and sense that no one wants to be around a loser, so they distance themselves until such time as they become happier. Oftentimes though, they won't have to distance themselves as their "friends" or family members do it for them.
Also, I think if you have someone close to you that is depressed and pushing you away, you should let them know you are there to listen (but not judge) and help support them in any way you feel most able. You shouldn't try to make them "feel better" (because you probably can't). You should call them to ask how they are doing but don't push them to talk if they don't want to. You can invite them to hang out (but not with too many other people, especially strangers) but don't be hurt or insulted if they refuse. If you are concerned they will harm themselves, you may need to talk to their parents, siblings, therapist, etc., if possible. Well, that is my take on it, unsure if that can be of any help.
There again, but forgive my ruminating, but being depressed sucks for everyone…the depressed person and the people around them. Just because a depressed person pushes you away doesn't necessarily mean they don't love and care for you or value your friendship and desire to help. They just loathe themselves and don't want to be a burden on you or anyone else. They are ill and need compassion not platitudes, tough love or exasperated comments.
Personally speaking, at the end of my working day (ie. a 12 hour shift that often stretches out mind-numbingly longer), people will have become a huge drain on my mental resources. Having to hold in what I want to say and feel to avoid hurting others can be, but generally is, exhausting. Often people don't understand and can get alarmed and distressed by things I say, or they try and 'cheer me up' which is painful and often inappropriate. Sometimes it's just easier not to be around them.
Most of the time I am aware that these are the illness disrupting my thinking, but I can't do anything about it any more than someone who knows they can't walk because their leg is broken can miraculously walk on it just because they recognize it's broken. That doesn't stop me feeling bad, guilty and weak, the kind of person no one should like... and then I just feel like I've had absolutely enough because of feeling stressed out, and then I find myself questioning why I do my job at all. Perhaps I should resign from the medical profession. Because it's just becoming far too stressful, so much so that I don't want to be treating people.