Quote:
Originally Posted by bchris02
I used to do this from about middle school age up through my early twenties. Sometimes I would give myself nosebleeds. I can't remember the last time I had an episode but it's been years. However, I am worried about the long-term health problems I may have from what I used to do. I already know I gave myself/worsened TMJ disorder because of it and have had a chronic neck ache since I was 23. I'm hoping that's the worst of it but I'm not so sure.
I would advice anybody who is still doing this to get some kind of help. There are other ways to deal with your anger/emotions than self-harm.
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I'm back on here dealing with this issue again. I was demoted at my job before Thanksgiving from IT to customer service/call center and this issue has resurfaced. I'm lucky nowadays if I can make it through a day without doing this. I hate it and it's ruining my life. I feel terrible the rest of the day when it happens.
The trigger for me is getting an angry customer who is overwhelmed and doesn't listen. It's especially bad if they start insulting me or accusing me of something. It was that way back in my early twenties at my last call center job and it's that way now.
The problem went completely away when I moved to an IT job but now that I'm back doing call center work it has returned. I think it's related to PTSD from childhood and verbal abuse from my parents. How can I stop having these episodes? I can be conscious of it but when one of those calls comes in and the yelling starts, it's a trigger and I cannot stop myself. The fact I was demoted despite being with the company seven years and always getting great reviews is another factor. It's been a huge self-esteem hit. I'll try the rubber band thing maybe.
I need to find another job but I have to quit cannabis use first. I'm currently 23 days clean and am pushing for about 60 before I start looking for a new job. That way I can be certain to pass a pre-employment drug screening.