Yes I am still here and reading all of these. Some of this is just hard to hear. I am an insecure person I guess and I just hadn’t realized until I got into a relationship. The porn does truly make me very uncomfortable and I I have spent the last few days trying to think about if I can really live with it or not. And sadly the lying and porn use aren’t the only red flags I’ve noticed and decided to ignore.. I guess I just love him so much I thought I could fix or learn to live with all of his flaws. I tend to only see the good in people even if there isn’t much. Sometime I think he really could be a narcissist and other times I just think he’s young and a tad selfish which isn’t so bad. But I think I do need to be real with myself and him and have the difficult conversation I guess I’m just still unsure of what outcome I want to see. Even if he agreed to never look at porn again I wouldn’t believe him and I would feel so guilty for asking. I do have a very hard time talking about difficult conversations not just with him but everyone in my life. I appreciate all the kindness and encouragement from everyone on here it means so much to me. It was extremely hard for me to post on here because I am such a private person and I tend to deal with all of my problems alone. I get embarrassed really easily so even though there are 50 comments on here the ones that sink in the most are the negative ones but I think I need to hear those too. I have been wanting to go to counseling now for quite some time to work on my insecurity and depression issues I think pretending they don’t exist isn’t working for me anymore. And maybe with some help I can find the strength I need to leave or the security within myself to actually accept him