Hey people. I'm just posting here again because I don't know who to talk to. I have a couple of friends who struggle with severe mental illness, and sometimes they are oblivious of how their venting affects me. I am angry about it but I don't know if it's due to them being inconsiderate or whether they are incapable of empathy/something right now in a bad state of mind. Like describing graphic ways of hurting themselves and suicide - and I don't have the mental or emotional energy to help, or even listen.

I'm in a bad financial situation at the moment and constantly worried about that. This afternoon I just lay on the floor and fell asleep and was really hungry but couldn't force myself to get up and make food. My therapist is very helpful but in between sessions I don't have anyone to talk to regularly. I am so ******* exhausted all the time, and in the early hours of this morning I woke up, and then got so anxious about how terrible I'd feel if I couldn't go back to sleep, that I struggled to sleep for the rest of the night. I've also run out of one of my meds but have no motivation to go and sort it out, which I know is stupid. I don't have that urgent need for self destruction right now but more like this nagging feeling that's manifesting in apathy. Like, it's too much effort to make food, can't I just ignore it and do nothing? It's too difficult to have all the interactions etc to get more meds - can't I just zone out and ignore it? I know neither of those is sensible. Somehow I feel like I wish someone would take care of me, like a parent, but not my parents.