Thank you, RDMercer. Mercifully my work isn't a swing shift, it's just second shift. Those swing shifts are brutal, especially if you have to be on call. The isolation and unpredictability make a personal life nearly impossible if you didn't have one established before entering.

I'm still working on connections. Most of them are purpose-driven right now with my involvement in grassroots-level politics. That is filling me with hope and obviously purpose. People working together for a common cause is very powerful and uplifting, and something that in my view everyone should have the opportunity to experience. Close personal relationships remain elusive but I no longer discount the possibility that I might some day attain them. Author and You-Tuber John Green's words really stick with me in this regard: "I thought I had failed, but I just hadn't succeeded yet."

You're certainly right that a situation that surrounds us can distort our perceptions. I have the tendency to fall hard in that trap.

I've applied for other places multiple times, and promotions or other positions within my current workplace, without success. I put in an application to return to school and I have that to look forward to. I'm now back on the path I never should have stepped off of when I was 18.

That's very insightful about how pushing through the drudgery of a day after day can destroy creativity. It's very hard to think of the future or innovation with a survival brain that's locked on getting through the moment. That would certainly lead to a positive feedback loop of remaining trapped. Right now I'm not feeling so overwhelmed as I was when I first posted this thread, but all these suggestions are valuable things to keep in mind if I slip back again. I hope other people who feel the same way can get the same benefit. Thank all of you so much. I love PC!