After 16 hospitalizations, including the current one, I believe the turning point is now. Forced to stay at the ward against my will and take clozapine whether I liked it or not was quite possibly the best thing that could have happened to me.

I see life in clarity and insight unlike anything I can remember in recent memory, maybe ever. I can see my delusional and paranoid beliefs as just that; delusional and paranoid. I am no longer scared of the things that once haunted me daily. I am aware of what is reality, and people in my life already see a massive difference in my moods, and communication. My wife said I am so much sharper and more clear. It’s truly amazing what clozapine is doing for me.

I may be in the ward for another 4-6 weeks. But that is okay. I get to take my time and heal, gain insight, and rest and reset. I plan to make a return my daily life after a rest period at home and begin to go back to my rehabilitation program and photography.

I hope this remains the way it is right now. I truly believe I am about to see a much better life ahead of me.