I’ve been in therapy since May 2019. I’ve sensed that my T think that I’m ready to try coping on my own. She’s a private therapist and I pay on my own, so it’s rather expensive (at least for me).

I’m quite attached to her. Yesterday I said, like just in passing, that I was thinking about quitting. She started talking about it and that we could make a plan for quitting and what to think about. She told me that I could come for like ”check-ups” monthly for a while. Maybe until summer.

I felt sad in session talking about it. I’m going to miss her!! I’m scared that I’m not going to make it, to be able to cope, on my own. She means so much to me. I know I’ve only seen her for a short while but I like her so much. I look forward to each session, I think about her and what I’m going to tell her.

I understand why she’s trying to make me quit. I know it’s because I spend a lot of money and she wants what’s best for me. But something inside me wish that I wouldn’t be better. That she wouldn’t want me to end therapy. Does this make any sense? I have a good life with husband and kids and work and a lot to do. I have friends and parents that support me (at least one parent). It’s not like I need therapy to live, if you know what I mean.

My problem is anxiety but I’ve gotten some good tools from her. She wants me to try them on my own. But she’s not terminating me, it’s my decision.

I know that I have to quit, I need to try, but it makes me so sad and scared.. i feel left alone even though I’m not. I have my family and work and friends. But still. I’m so scared. Anyone understand this feeling?

I’m also jealous of the people who’s going to keep seeing her when I’m not. It’s stupid but I can’t help it...