About three years ago I found out that I was going to be a father. I was so very excited. Move forward till the birth. Shortly after bringing home the most beautiful little girl in the world I began to feel very anxious whenever I was left alone with her. I would sit in the dark and listen to her cry herself to sleep instead of comforting her like I should have done. While this was occurring I made my wife quit her job so i wouldnt be alone with my daughter as much. This was not easily accepted by my wife. we began to fight terribly because in her eyes I made her quit her job but in mine I needed help with my daughter. Eventually my wife went back to work as I became able to deal with my anxiety of being alone with my daughter. But to be truthful it never went away. I am still somewhat terrified to be alone with my daughter. I love her with all my heart and have attempted to deal with this on my own for over two years. So after my wife went back to work I was being so mean and agressive towards my wife without having any reason to be. Finally after two years of this my wife asked for a divorce. I thought why is my wife doing this to me. But sitting in my room crying i realized that I had been treating her like this in a attempt to get her to quit her job again. I have sense changed my ways but I am fearing i have already burnt to many bridges. I am seeking counseling with my wife. I have recently become very depressed and have slipped back into being absolutely terrified of being alone with my daughter. My wife sometimes feels very supportive but at other times doesnt. I am not sure at this point if it is in my head or actually happening. I joined this site to make friends with people with similar stories and to learn about how to deal with life.
Thanks