ty... to be honest... i just want to cut...you know?... i know that the urges are like a wave... the build up...crash to the shore and are sucked out for awhile of peace and calm.... i just need to ride the wave...when i cut i disrupt the flow... and in reality i go back to the beginning and never get to the peace of the calm... but when i do it... i can just be numb for awhile...lyn