Hi Silver Queen, Pheonix30 and Wants2fly - and thanks for your replies.

Silver Queen, Denying that you have it......Know what you mean, I go in and out of that so much. I just don't want it so much, I pretend to be ok. But hopefully, I am starting to change - own it, I suppose !

Phoenix30, Anyone who hadn't been through this would probably not understand how a person can have an illness for years before acknowledging it.

But I have been like this since childhood and only now because I broke down and literally couldn't go on, am I taking it seriously.

Wants2fly, I know you are in a crumbly place at the moment and reading this after seeing your post on that has made me appreciate you more.

Your negative thoughts were saying about feeling guilty for many things inc using the forums too much - it sounds like the forums were your lifeline through a difficult summer. They are special.

I hope you can fight against depression making you feel bad for doing something so helpful to yourself - you were doing (and still are) a good and brave thing -keep reaching out .

Bye for now, chicks.........peace if possible, Poppet