Ouch, that had to hurt. Your reaction may have not been the best thing for the situation, but it was certainly understandable. Anyone here probably would have reacted in the same way.

Your husband probably didn't mean to hurt you, and once he realized that he did, he tried to fix it. It wouldn't hurt to have a sit down and ask where that initial response came from. Why is that regular alone time so important that he isn't happy to be surprised by his wife's presence? Is his job really stressful? Does he need time to bleed it off? Is there something that he likes to do in his alone time that he can't do when there are distractions around?

It's not like you're always there. Demanding that you leave was childish of him. It's your house, too, after all. If my husband reacted like that, I'd be worried that something else was going on. Not to make you paranoid or anything- I'm just saying that it probably was something else happening, and not so much a rejection of you. Does that make sense?