I can’t help but feel like we’re getting half of the real truth over here...I wish your husband could also chip in so we can hear from his point of view. If you are saying everyone seems to take your communication as being from a negative place then we cannot say they are entirely wrong. Everybody cannot be wrong and you are right. That is a victim mentality and if you want to heal these relationships you really need to step out of that powerless, helpless and defeated mindset. Try to do some introspection and see why they would assume you have that intention. Look without judging yourself because judgement seems to be a BIG theme in your family. Everybody is fearful of being judged. Instead of being defensive, let’s look at why everyone is fearful of being judged. Where does it stem from? Follow the trail until it comes back to you and claim your part.

I can imagine as a mother you want to maintain a strong bond with your children even at their adult phase. A mother will always be a mother and surprisingly enough (even though they will never tell you) your children will always need you to nurture them, maybe in a less intrusive but loving way.

So take down the walls. I don’t believe anyone hates you or that anyone feels like you are the enemy. I feel like everyone needs to be honest about their part in the breakdown of communication and the lack of trust.