YES!! I know what you mean. Processing trauma takes a lot out of a person. Each person is different depending on how much trauma they experienced and it can even go way back for the person too.

However, from what you have shared (((MtnTime2896))) you are suffering. That is what the therapist wants to decrease in treating you. Part of your stepping back is you are trying to avoid more suffering. PTSD is VERY hard for the person suffering to articulate what it means to them, they avoid because they don't want to suffer and it feels like no one understands how hard it can get.