Ooops...made a BIG mistake. Obviously thought doing better than we are. Was a documentary relating to the nature of the abuse we suffered. Thought well enough to handle it. Even thought it would be verifying to hear others talk more specifically of our abuse.

Well, not handling it well. Reverting to old coping mechanisms. At least see it, we guess. Don't want to call T. Don't want to admit we can't handle it. Also it's a big birthday for him and relatives coming from all over the country for celebration. A rare event he takes a couple days off.

Angry that it still can affect us so many, many years later....a lifetime. Well past the lifetime of some of our abusers. Trying to be rational. Trying to calm the upset ones. Trying to be adult. Unfortunately, old ways still work better than all that stuff we've been taught. Just immediately reverted to old, comfortable ways.