Thanks everyone for worrying about me, honestly it is hard to talk about this for thanks to people like you I feel so much better, I did say this to an adult of trust and she told the same that I’m not a horrible person. There have been things in my life that change the way I perceive things and make me believe I am trash... but right now I try not to think about them because they really damage my mental health. I saw a therapist recently and I’m not diagnosed with OCD even if I’m really concerned about some things. I will try to see him again and tell him everything.
Again thank you everyone, I’ll try to keep you updated