My mother was neglectful and callous. My father was self-absorbed, physically abusive, and diagnosed with NPD. On the latter, I really think a lot of people who say their parents are narcissists don't really know what narcissists are like.

I'm on alright terms with both of them, but I'm diagnosed with AsPD and I can't help but see the same traits they have in myself. I have my father's egocentrism and my mother's coldness. It's hard to tell how much of that is genetic and how much of it is environmental, since the two are clearly going hand-in-hand.

In many respects, I understand them. They don't really understand how their behavior caused me to be so pathological, and they refuse to take any responsibility for the damage they did to me. I know that my mother has gone as far as saying that as a way to avoid facing the consequences of her actions. Likewise, I could probably provide examples where I've been just as cold and dismissive of others close to me.

So now I have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style because I don't know what healthy relationships look like. I find myself repeating the same abuse that was done to me with other people. I'm not sure how to develop healthier relationships, it seems like I'm fated to become just like them some days.

How do you learn how to have healthy relationships when you don't have any affective empathy and don't understand the emotions of others?