sorry things are so tough for you. Wow, showing your t is huge. Even after 2 years I still don't even talk to my t about SI- it comes up very occasionally but i mostly try to avoid it; not coz I dont trust her just coz i am so uncomfortable talking about it. That's where having my fantastic med dr is so good. No talk, no explanations. Just looks after it.
Hang in there and hopefully things will start to improve little by little.