@Wild Coyote thanks for all of that. i don't have time rn to fully respond to all of it, but the end question about whether i am angry at myself stood out to me. I guess i just pride myself on my memory and even though I admitted later in this thread that I did want to experience a blackout at some point, i don't know if I actually wanted to this night. I dunno. I suppose if i were to though, i trusted myself with this group. but yes, was I naive? i now question whether every guy wants to take advantage of a drunk girl, but thanks for pointing out what you did.
Last thing, no I wasn't on any meds back then, so nothing to interfere with the alcohol. Sorry about your experience. but thank you for sharing. you're right, we do need to take care of ourselves. And I actually don't drink or party anymore.