I agree with bpcyclist. Also, when someone is trying to get sober and recover from ptsd as well, that person should not be involved in any relationship other than focusing on her healing and recovery. What she has been advised is standard and what is recommended from specialists she is seeking treatment from. Just so you understand when someone is involved in learning how to stay sober they are advised not to have any relationship for at least one year. This girl you are sharing about has an additional challenge with the ptsd so the girl you have fallen for is not a person standing on their own two feet and she is going to go through some changes and she does need to learn how to stand on her own two feet. She has probably been expected to be a codependent as well so she will need to learn how to identify these habits and instead learn how to do healthy SELF CARE first.

I am sorry this leaves you in such a confused state. Yet, this girl WILL need a lot of time and help and YOU can not change that and will have to wait and she will be needing a lot of time to recover before she can have a relationship, she will be learning this herself. She is very lost right now and in no position to be in ANY romantic relationship with anyone.