Hi Shivani,

Welcome to Psych Central Forums.

This is a very interesting question and topic you bring up, and I can relate. I have many fumbles in conversation and speech etc, and am quite awkward sometimes. It makes for good comic relief in conversation. I do not come across as a good writer who is interesting and thoughtful, unless someone spends time with me and gets to know me, and appreciates these qualities. But I digress. Your issues with in person conversation may not be the same as mine, but there's a similarity, and I wanted to bring it up, and I wanted to tell you that I think your writing here is very good, and I don't want to downplay that, because everyone has strengths (and weaknesses, unfortunately!), and I wonder if...you are focusing on your weaknesses much more of the time. And I was wondering, if you may have difficulty accepting yourself for who you are, liking yourself, appreciating yourself, I was wondering basically, if you struggle with your self esteem? Do you?

That all being said, you asked some questions. I of course, not being a doctor or psychologist, could not begin to know. As a layperson psychology nerd who has experience with mental health issues themselves, I could guess though. Here are my guesses, thoughts and some questions for you: could you be an inhibited person? Are you shy? How old are you? I'm just wondering if you're younger, and may have difficulty accepting yourself for who you are. You said people seem to think you're not interesting. Could it be something else? Maybe it is true that you don't know how to make engaging conversation or know how to really make friends and keep them. There's no shame in that. We all have things we need to work on.


Regarding your worry that you have some sort of brain damage, that is totally something that I myself would worry about, as an anxious person. You cannot really know this though, unless you go to a doctor and have them test you. Sometimes going to the doctor to have a test done, can ease my own mind when I'm worried. I don't know if that's an option for you? At the same time, try not to scare yourself! We all as humans come in different flavors.


Hang in there. You sound interesting to me, and I'm sure there's a solution for you.




Edit: Apologies Shivani! I see that you said in your first sentence that you are 30+ . I missed seeing that the first time!