Hi Johnny.
My heart hurts for you right now! Recently, I was in a similar situation. I was dating my boyfriend (now ex-) long-distance for about 1 1/2 years. We had been friends before we were dating and I knew he had past issues with PTSD, substance abuse and alcoholism. He went to in-patient rehab for 30 days and at the end of rehab, he decided to move-out of his house, divorce his wife and leave the kids. We BOTH knew he should'nt have dated for at least a year afer rehab, but it seemed SO right to be in a relationship that we ignored that rule and started a relaionship about 5 months after he was in rehab. In hindsight, I REALLY wish we would've waited the year. After 5 month, he wasn't full healed or healthy and beacuse of that, we had a hard time our entire relationship because he couldn't take care of himself. He always looked to me to support him emotionally, mentally, physically, financially. It was really a mess, because he didn't take the time to learn to be independent and confident in himself. It eventually tore us apart and ended our relationship 1 1/2 years later. Six weeks after the end of our relationship ended, he's now in a new relationship and in full blown active addiction.
I still love him dearly and heartbroken that I've lost my soulmate, but I truly believe if we could've done things differently and he took the full year to learn about himself and become independent, it would've saved a lot of emotional turmoil, pain and devastation.
I know it's extremely hard right now to be without her, but she needs time by herself to devote to healing and figure things out on her own. If not, the relationship will not be healthy because her issues with intrude every aspect of your realtionship.
As much as we want to try to help our partners get thru trauma and substance use, we can't make them better. We can support them as much as we can, and be by their side thru it all, but unfortunately, the hard work has to be done by them. And the best way to do that is to give them alone time to process their issues and heal properly, even though it hurts to the core to be without them.
Habg in there. This is not an easy road to travel, but will be worth it!
Peace and hugs!