I’m
So anxious I’my feeling sick. So I ate a sandwich and drank some water. More water. More worry.

I worry about everything. I’m very worried about my living situation. My t even suggested we start looking into section 8 for me.

I have mean relatives who constantly have snide comments that I live at my granny’s rent free. I want tk move I do but my granny can’t live alone anymore. Why can’t they see that? She keeps falling and having medical emergencies that I discover. If I hadn’t been there two weeks ago...omg idk what would have happened. She’d have passed out in the kitchen in a hard wooden floor. I’m the one who called ems. I kept her upright in a chair while she vomited and choked and spat. I was so scared. But if I hadn’t been there???

Idk how my life will play out. I wish I could get an apartment but I can’t afford rent. I guess I’ll sign up for section 8 and see if I’m eligible. I get disability every month and work a small part time job on weekends.

I wish I were normal and could work two jobs and live alone and survive on my own and be all productive like they’re expecting me to be but the truth is I’m working 16 hrs a week and I manage that ok but it’s not enough money without help from ssdi. And I wish I didn’t have so much ****ing medical debt from hospitals and credit card debt from mania (I’m working on paying those off and cutting them up.)’

I have a lot of worries and wishes.

So for now. I’m 33 and living with my grandmother who says herself she can’t live alone. I take two college classes and I work 16 hrs a week. And my grades are passing so that’s all I care about.

I just worry. I’m sick.