Hello divine1966...as you guessed it my brain won't stop thinking and I have to get up for work in a couple hours. I started messing around with drugs here and there from 14 and up. Yellowjackets and alcohol makes for a nice substitution at doing the whole upper/downers ...at least in my 20 yr old logic since I've never done heroin. I messed with coke for a couple of years and got out because I really liked it...I mean a lot...like I was saying earlier, Then came crosstops and alcohol. Then I began to trade street for OTC versions mixed with alcohol. I used Tramadol for awhile until a friend of mine told me that it shared the same neural pathway as heroin. So had to work myself down on that one.

At that point I was up to taking 12 tram a day. Then just like I said playing chemist with migraine meds, acetaminophen, and alcohol. I stopped doing that about 5 years ago and just went straight to alcohol and slowly ramping up afterwards. I wasn't trying to be dramatic a couple nights ago..Since I didn't have alcohol...I was at odds at running back to whatever pill layed on the ground to numb myself. I've always traded one thing for the other and never stopped. With lowering my alcohol with intent to stop...my nerves and thinking are running all over the place looking for an excuse to do something else to replace not drinking. I hope this kinda helps divine1966. It's not something I'm particular to talking about but I do see why anyone would ask. Thanks again for all the help and advice